45 minutes

45 minutes

That's what it takes 

To climb out the pit hole

Give myself a chance

I won't hold it down

Can't lock it away

This heartaching sorrow

Is keeping me stand

So I will try

Keep my head high

Walking on thorns

Paralized 

All there is left now

Is drop what I've got 

To spot the attachments

And leave them behind

Sun will burn my face

Wind open my arms

Released from the tangles

I breath in and out

Then I will fly

And I will shine

Coming undone

Unfolding what's to come

your mother hates you, it's true

This wound we are talking about is not to be healed

It's as real as everlasting love and peace

We cannot escape our hell

We can go along with it as like with any other part of our psyche

What difference does it make

Do they like you? Do they not? Will you stop being you?? Impossible

Better be it for real

Nobody loves you or know you, never will, never can

Just be

Spontanously, trully

 

If you do not dare to love me

I will do it on my own

Burning down all the crosses

I once hanged myself on

Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash

Darek grinder revisited

Nobody loves you

(That's ok)

Nobody ever did

Nobody knows you

(Never will)

Go out of your own pit

made in 2022

 I don't know what love is

My heart's been silent for so long

Passive drifting through the life

With no purpose of my own

So I dance, and I sing

That's all I know

The truth I bring

made in 2021

strenght is not dominance

The pain is immense when I see you in defence

Even if you've hurt me before

I wish to desintegrate

Rip my heart apart and liberate

Something to show you how we're the same

Photo by Chris Mai on Unsplash

najgorsza kara

najgorszą zmorą człowieka i wszystkich dookoła niego jest nigdy nie stanąć we własnej sile,

niezależnie od innych

wiecznie kogoś taszcząc lub będąc taszczonym

ciągle jęcząc że jest za mało, że źle

czekając na zbawienie

będąc uporczywie i uparcie obarczonym przez los

odgrywając swoją zaśniedziałą rolę, która nikogo nie interesuje

odrzucam to

sen o wielkim paradoksie

z czego wychodzimy? 

gdy tworzy się muszla to w którym kierunku?

dlaczego łoś krzyczy?

co mnie "robi"?

robi mnie, jest mną

krzyczy mnie

z nicości w cość

why does the moose roar?

I become in every way

Free and painful as I am

If i should appear for you

Where is from I'm coming through?

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

valentines day, I love you K

 ciągle jest za mało MNIE na tym świecie

uważam, że powinno być generalnie dużo więcej mnie.

cardboard life

fed up mind and

hungry heart

artificial all around

i just want to feel alive

to know one

who drives me mad

out of love

i just want someting to die for

to make me wanna stay alive

i want to die with the smile in my eyes

let me die

let me die

but before

give me just one reason to smile

not out of hope

not for the prize

the simple reason for a zest for life

want to let the music out