not being liked

feels so powerful

world is calling me

The world is calling me so where am I

oh where am I

it's so hard to trust your gut

i'm chosing

to deny

always wonder why

it's so hard to trust your gut

i'm losing

i was always taught to follow 

what i feel

and stay real

only truth can set you free

then i see and i cannot believe

this could really be

everybody keeps their mouth sealed 

just to shield what they carry in

like a snake I'm slipping trough the day

feeling all their pain

trying really hard and fruitlessly

just for once give them all they need

i'm calling on my world of dreams

and i'm losing

i'm chosing to deny

to become just like they are

I was always thaught to follow 

what i feel

and stay real

 was always thaught to follow 

what i feel

and stay real

only truth can set you free

daylight

In the dark standing,

Anticipating

For you, I'm waiting, Dear

 

Staring at one point

Limbo's mine

Just you come back and see

How I proudly lose my mind

To the point of certainty

Everything is gone

Skies falling

Space and time are done

And I'm left

Staring blindly at one point

How can it be that you never shared your needs

How can it be that you never told how it's gonna be?

Should've told ... x3

Should've told 'cause you saw I was

Holding on to our daylight till it's gone

Should've known

You were dying to move on

There's no more

To the story that we wrote

Like it never was, anyway

From then on I'm the pawn in endless game

Hazy thoughts

Slowly drivig me insane

When you crawled into me I crawl myself

Please you let us go into vain.

How could it be it is so very easy

Just in one snap lose your whole identity

Come back, come back, come back

And see

How empty I can be

inne peace

In the newfound stream of inner peace

I dive to calm down

Gather myself piece by piece

Ain't be rushing anywhere now 

no, no

In the night, let my guard down

The dream creates the dream 

But I want to stand awake

With first sun rays landing on my face

I see you there

Would you stay

Reality feels like

White noise invading soul

Fountains of impatience rise 

Anywhere I'm going I get lost

Then I come to realize my world is not defined

Then I come to realize my thoughts are not finite

Then I come to realize the story never dies

Nothing, that you think, is right

And nothing's really wrong

Magic won't materialise

Anything you want, you go work for

Reality is like

White noise to filter out

And I just want to stay awake

For the waves that're coming up my way

Train of thoughts just never ends

There's no space for me to dance

River flows out of my face 

I just dream to break away 

Then I come to realize my world is not defined

Then I come to realize my thoughts are not finite

Then I come to realize that story never dies

 

Soul of gold

Stronger than a storm

You came in the room of bones

Eyes of onyx, soul of gold

Now we know you'll change us all

Milder than a blow

You came in and touched my soul

Eyes of chocolate, soul of mist

Now I know there's more to see

Can't hold back the Universe

It sings tales right to your ears

Don't hold back from anything

Since you carry all there is

Don't hold back the Universe

It sings tales right to your ears

Can't hold back from anything

Cause you carry everything

I will follow if you might 

My animus, my delight

Human

Human, human being

Stencil acts and template feelings

Yet, the pain remain so real

As for me as for any of us here

You know that feeling

No surprise and no revealing

Wonderworld of inner living

Day by day seems more and more unreal

I'm so tired

Uninspired

Keep constancy as required

There's a pattern you can't break

What if it will never end

So little space in my brain

Running circles never ends

Fire burning trough my veins 

running circles never ends

With every word that I say

Running circles never ends

Never-changing line of prays

Running circles never ends

I'm the answer to a question that nobody ever asked

Will there ever come the rescue from this catatonic trap

Black skies

I wish the world was burning, exposing us to death.

On skies, the black unfolding, hands reaching to connect.

Fine love is there for only who walks despite their falls

No fear of black unfolding if hands are holding close

This world, this world is closing. Please mind me one last time

I feel the light engrossing when we walk side by side

45 minutes

45 minutes

That's what it takes 

To climb out the pit hole

Give myself a chance

I won't hold it down

Can't lock it away

This heartaching sorrow

Is keeping me stand

So I will try

Keep my head high

Walking on thorns

Paralized 

All there is left now

Is drop what I've got 

To spot the attachments

And leave them behind

Sun will burn my face

Wind open my arms

Released from the tangles

I breath in and out

Then I will fly

And I will shine

Coming undone

Unfolding what's to come

your mother hates you, it's true

This wound we are talking about is not to be healed

It's as real as everlasting love and peace

We cannot escape our hell

We can go along with it as like with any other part of our psyche

What difference does it make

Do they like you? Do they not? Will you stop being you?? Impossible

Better be it for real

Nobody loves you or know you, never will, never can

Just be

Spontanously, trully

 

If you do not dare to love me

I will do it on my own

Burning down all the crosses

I once hanged myself on

Photo by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash

Darek grinder revisited

Nobody loves you

(That's ok)

Nobody ever did

Nobody knows you

(Never will)

Go out of your own pit

made in 2022

 I don't know what love is

My heart's been silent for so long

Passive drifting through the life

With no purpose of my own

So I dance, and I sing

That's all I know

The truth I bring

made in 2021

strenght is not dominance

The pain is immense when I see you in defence

Even if you've hurt me before

I wish to desintegrate

Rip my heart apart and liberate

Something to show you how we're the same

Photo by Chris Mai on Unsplash

najgorsza kara

najgorszą zmorą człowieka i wszystkich dookoła niego jest nigdy nie stanąć we własnej sile,

niezależnie od innych

wiecznie kogoś taszcząc lub będąc taszczonym

ciągle jęcząc że jest za mało, że źle

czekając na zbawienie

będąc uporczywie i uparcie obarczonym przez los

odgrywając swoją zaśniedziałą rolę, która nikogo nie interesuje

odrzucam to

sen o wielkim paradoksie

z czego wychodzimy? 

gdy tworzy się muszla to w którym kierunku?

dlaczego łoś krzyczy?

co mnie "robi"?

robi mnie, jest mną

krzyczy mnie

z nicości w cość

why does the moose roar?

I become in every way

Free and painful as I am

If i should appear for you

Where is from I'm coming through?

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

valentines day, I love you K

 ciągle jest za mało MNIE na tym świecie

uważam, że powinno być generalnie dużo więcej mnie.