piątek, 6 czerwca 2025

Pluto in Scorpio generation

Oh my god, you clearly don't understand your own power and the power of Scorpio if you need to victimise yourself so much. Calling our generation a garbage can? I am not from the same generation then. And if you need it, let me trauma shame you right now, in advance, before your kids will. And I will do so, while having my moon opposed by my scorpio pluto -best placement for victimisation, according to many. 


Get over yourself. Pluto is a sheer power of choice. The "I will". 


So why don't you? Show them how wrong they are. Call them by their names and point out their discrepancies as you do. But hell, be proud of your finger pointing. You deserved it by taking all this sh*t from them, right? And then face the cost of disregarding their struggle. Because the cost is the realisation that you are just the same. Brute, half evil, self-involved nasty soul as everyone else. But the difference is that you OWN IT.


To be a Scorpio is to know how nauseating the reality of nature is, and going forward anyway, in spite of. Because we want to, because we CAN, because there isn't much choice as we don't really know how to cease to exist, do we? 


But then it's really  hard to f*ck with us, because owning and living through your pain is self empowerment in it's purest form. That's Scorpio. Cunning, black and white, driven. Not some victimised "trash can".  We simply don't repress our sh*t anymore, but it was always there, Bro. 


Moving on, if we talk about the generations, let's talk about people from across the globe and from every social stratum.


Diving into it - Leo Pluto not being traumatised? Are you kidding? 

Clearly, you must be speaking only about some priviliged parts of the american society that was not burdened by their parents post war PTSD and communistic dictatorships. The rest of the world was straight up loved from the behind emotionally and economically. About racial and gender and cultural disparities I will not comment on.


What about dreadful societal norms of their prime time, like obligatory mariage and children, going along with their parents vision of how life should look like, working hard and being a good citizen in the center of an "acceptable" life, contstant shaming for anything and everything, expectation to take care of your parents and the inability to break away from toxic family ties, religion guilt tripping them into obedience? Also, it was them who invented the sentence "It was just a joke, why do you take everything so personally??" We both know, it was their coping mechanism for being a constant dissapoitment to their parents.


Scorpio Pluto has none of this. We are very free to say and do whatever we want in terms of profession, family life and beliefs. We may HAVE WORKED for it, but our Virgo and Leo Pluto parents prepared us for it, planted the seed and let us be free. My parents certainly did. Now even gender and social roles had become optional. 


And that is also a burden, as it came out, so we look for someone to blame for our own lack of direction. But hopefully, at least, we will leave behind us, the world emotionally and spiritually more in tune, as we talk about our pain and trauma constantly. Someone has to, I agree. But we are not the only victimized ones here.


Capricorn respects Scorpio deeply. There will be no shaming from capri children. And btw, what is that trauma again? What are they supposed to shame in us?


commentary to:  


piątek, 23 maja 2025

pamięć nieba

 Dzwięki co tkają z miłości swój ruch

Nasłodsze harmonie - łuny znad polarnych mórz


Pamiętam je nadal i płaczę gdy wy

Nie chcecie ich tutaj, zakuci w swój krzyk


Wrażliwość wam śmieszna i choć jej właśnie trzeba

Wolicie ból tłumić po utracie nieba


Więc wieszajcie dalej na krzyżach ofiary

Składajcie na barki z pogardy swe dary


Nie wróci zbyt prędko do raju ród ludzki

Bo wciąż na filarach demony rozpusty


Photo by Lucas Marcomini on Unsplash

środa, 14 maja 2025

the psycho of love

From the peaceful ocean

through the tank of wishes

to the poisonous pond - the psycho of love


the world has made me crazy

so now I'm after you


give me all I want

or I will spoil your roots


maybe that's the tale

of the opposites we hold


you can rip your chest out

lie like a mat at the door


they will take it,

they will take it all


corrupted world, we try to enfold

yet the truth is simple

we come here to be worn


live it

scream it

pray for god


you wanted me in shackles

but I'll be held no more

sobota, 8 marca 2025

George R. R. Martin is also a woman

The day before yesterday, I finished watching Game of Thrones again, this time from beginning to end. Spoilers below, so if you haven't seen it, be advised. How many characters does the author of the series have to be able to get so much out of himself? He describes them in such a way that you can actually relate to them. Even Joffrey. I think that's what I love most about this series, apart from the dragons flying to the music of Ramin Djawadi. I love it because it frees me from my personal mental shackles.


And thank you George R.R. Martin for being such an amazing woman too. My personal favorite is Arya, who is learning to let go of her identity, prejudices, and naivety. She accepts pain in order to understand who she really is and fulfill her destiny.

Cersei, who replaces her lack of love, respect, and fear of loss with a completely blinding lust for power, leading to the downfall of her family.

The unceremonious Olenna, who sees, speaks, and acts according to her will. A pillar of authenticity and self-confidence.

Sansa, who in perhaps the most brutal way wakes up from her dreams and illusions to be able to distinguish truth from lies and firmly express what she believes is right.

And then there is Daenerys, an idealist and ultimately a tyrant, whom I understand best, I think, because her will was twofold. Her claims were justified, her grievances and her path to reversing her fate were undeniable and spectacular, but her dream of absolutism was just as real. Again, she was full of anger and fear. I'm glad she was consumed by fury, that she burned that city of hypocrisy, and I know she had to die for her ideals to become reality.

She symbolized death and rebirth. With her death, magical projections and putting things on a knife's edge died too. I read somewhere that it was the throne that corrupted her, but it was in her. It had been building up for years, growing with what she saw in the world and with her power. And I identify with that. I felt joy at her unveiling, at the fact that her darkness could spill out. We so rarely see this in reality.

We are more likely to encounter male evil and violence (sorry, gentlemen with a conscience, but you know all too well what is happening in the world) and nothing balances it out, nothing brings relief and hope in a world full of violence, territorialism, and arrogance.

That's why we miss Daenerys' power. Her decision is a wonderful catharsis. It reminds me of the final scene in Dogville, when Grace decides to sentence the town to death, seeing the irredeemable ingratitude, pettiness, and inner ugliness of its inhabitants. Fortunately, GOT adds more power, glory, and justice to the matter. Kings Landing is not such an obvious target for revenge, and after all, our world is not such a “flea-ridden hole” as von Trier portrayed it.

Finally, I would like to focus on the said revenge.

From idealism to annihilation. Two sides of the same coin. As a self-proclaimed idealist, I know how risky and destructive absolute faith in ideals can be. It is easy to confuse them with values, which by their very nature must be rooted in reality and proven in practice. They benefit not only the idealist, but also those around them. Although they are an obvious consequence of ideals, they require discipline and conscious, courageous, everyday decisions. And when things go wrong, you have to listen to Ramin, or do something good, create something, pat yourself on the head, and eat pizza. Unfortunately, we cannot save the world with a single wave of our hand, if it can be saved at all. With this post, I would like to wish all my friends and strangers, women and men, all the best on March 8! May your ideals turn into values and actions.


środa, 13 listopada 2024

I was wrong

At some point I dindn't see you

And I had no faith in you


I was worried you'll be drowned

Tried to hold you near the ground


Thought you are too soft to live

Having no strenght to compete


I was wrong, I was wrong

Please forgive me

Please go on




poniedziałek, 11 marca 2024

sobota, 2 marca 2024

poniedziałek, 4 grudnia 2023

***

ile razy umrzeć jeszcze

przyjdzie mi w najbliższych latach

nim mi z trzewi strumień tryśnie

prawdziwego w ogniu lata


i tak jakbym miała wiecznie

czekać tylko głodna miała

na swojego światła przyjście

jeszcze zimna, ciągle mała



Photo by SIMON LEE on Unsplash





niedziela, 1 października 2023

The love She gave me

My Mother loved me
She showed it every day
I felt important
Whenever she was near

Always creating the world worth living in
I wish you all 
To know someone just like her

My Mother loved me
She showed it every day
Bringing the respect
To every part of me

Chosing to always
Fight for the quality
I wish to all
The love like I received 

I wish to all 
The love she gave to me
I wish to all the love like she gave to me

I wish I could do good with love like this
I wish I could do good with love like this

czwartek, 14 września 2023

La La land

I don't want to run around with this crazy feeling
That I need to prove myself in things I don't want
If it longs to come trought me
I am here and willing
But if not I'll look for more

I don't want to drown myself in this twisted feeling of
Yearning to become the project of my head
What's the point of chasing something I have seen
I'll just stand and watch it go

Cause life is a mistery and I
Found joy in waiting to see
Who I'll turn out to be
Without judging each of my steps

Cause life is a mistery and I
Found waiting to see
Who I am turning out to be
Much richer than wild dreams


Photo by me

piątek, 18 sierpnia 2023

Set men free!

Fathers are not second mothers. One parent have to be the stoic rock that children's emotional waves crash into. Someone has to teach those kids especially boys that the world is is...


That the world is what? We create the world. 

Fathers should be themselves, they should be people. Evolve and learn. They should be curious about themselves, their children and their partners. Strength and resilience are not reserved for men, and frankly, it is crazy to expect a living person to be stoic all the time.

 Many men have a tendency to follow this illusion, to lie to themselves and make everyone unhappy because they want to maintain this false self-image. They pretend to be someone they're not, that they don't feel what they feel. So then, they need to project their unexpressed emotions and needs onto everyone around them. 

The deal is to feel everything and admit to feeling everything. At the same time to become sustainable, stable adults, we learn to process all this reality and meet our needs in a healthy way by solving problems and searching for deeper, better, more personal qualities in life.



Ojcowie mają uczyć, że świat jest czym? To my tworzymy świat. 

Ojcowie powinni być sobą, powinni być ludźmi. Ewoluować i uczyć się. Powinni być ciekawi siebie, swoich dzieci i swoich partnerek. Siła i odporność nie są zarezerwowane dla mężczyzn i szczerze mówiąc, szaleństwem jest oczekiwanie, że żywa osoba będzie cały czas stoicka. 

Wielu mężczyzn ma tendencję do podążania za tą iluzją, okłamywania siebie i unieszczęśliwiania wszystkich, ponieważ chcą utrzymać ten fałszywy obraz siebie. Udają, że są kimś, kim nie są, że nie czują tego, co czują. Muszą więc rzutować swoje niewyrażone emocje i potrzeby na wszystkich wokół siebie. 

Chodzi jednak o to, by czuć wszystko i przyznać się do tego. Jednocześnie, aby stać się zrównoważonymi, stabilnymi dorosłymi, uczymy się przetwarzać całą tę rzeczywistość i zaspokajać nasze potrzeby w zdrowy sposób, rozwiązując problemy i poszukując głębszych, lepszych, bardziej osobistych wartości w życiu.





wtorek, 15 sierpnia 2023

I love my guru, but what the fuck does he know

 Ram Dass: The Universe of Compassion – Here and Now Podcast Ep. 231


Hi everyone


I would like to touch on the topic of compassion from the perspective of a person for whom loving the world and people was something completely natural.


Most of the spiritual gurus talks about awakening to compassion, discovering the web of interconnectedness and how powerful an influence we have on each other. And I have to say that to me this is definitely nothing new, I've known and felt it since I was very little, and the training of giving attention, space and understanding while I was doing nothing else for most of my years, raises my anger. 


I think completely different teachings could bring me closer to wholeness. Women's experiences in the world shows that our path to freedom should rather be led by recognizing our separateness and respecting boundaries. 


Ram Dass's teachings, while incredibly noteworthy and wonderful, are still the words of a privileged man, a man with a PhD from a prestigious university, with extraordinary opportunities for advancement and widely respected. They have no chance to take into account the burden, tiredness and and futility of the efforts of people affected by inequality.


I would like to see and hear about such path from the mouth of an experienced, conscious and empowered woman or an experienced man if he gets the major perspective or came out of adversity with an open heart. 


And no more love and compassion. It is not always the truth and liberation. It deviates from experience of humanity that majority of us have and I wanted to express that here.

piątek, 9 czerwca 2023

Trash


Everytine I get some rest
I recall that I detest the world around me

There's the greed and all the stress
Which I really keep my best avoiding

I don't care about the growth
It's a fiction anyhow
And it's destroing us 

I wish there was some hard block
For all those who cannot catch
That they are mindless brats

Killing all we've got
Killing all we are

Taking away freedom
Dignity and bonds




sobota, 20 maja 2023

the dance

I've been seeing you in smile
All the splendor that you've got
I've been seeing you like that

I was given so much love
I wished I could give back
And make you see yourself like that

You need to know
I love you all

But first of all
I need to build it up again in me

I need my core
To spread around and glow

Then maybe I can bring you back your love







piątek, 12 maja 2023

the big break

So you're all alone

And no one loves you




The hour has come

Of looking the devil in the eye




Feel the pain as it comes

Burn in the fire of doubt




They are long gone

Now you can see as it trully is


And be

be

be


Like you always were

Pain comes and goes


I am always there

czwartek, 9 marca 2023

multiverse

Do you recall the moments
When life seems magical
When all events has meaning 
And everything adds up

Like movie at it's climax
Trapped in our minds eye

It comes to my attention
That you are there and I

Cant't believe your story
Is as complex as mine



środa, 12 października 2022

not being liked

feels so powerful

world is calling me

The world is calling me so where am I

oh where am I


it's so hard to trust your gut

i'm chosing

to deny


always wonder why

it's so hard to trust your gut

i'm losing



i was always taught to follow 

what i feel

and stay real

only truth can set you free


then i see and i cannot believe

this could really be

everybody keeps their mouth sealed 

just to shield what they carry in



like a snake I'm slipping trough the day

feeling all their pain

trying really hard and fruitlessly

just for once give them all they need


i'm calling on my world of dreams

and i'm losing

i'm chosing to deny

to become just like they are



I was always thaught to follow 

what i feel

and stay real



 was always thaught to follow 

what i feel

and stay real

only truth can set you free


daylight

In the dark standing,
Anticipating
For you, I'm waiting, Dear
 
Staring at one point
Limbo's mine
Just you come back and see
How I proudly lose my mind
To the point of certainty
Everything is gone
Skies falling
Space and time are done
And I'm left
Staring blindly at one point

How can it be that you never shared your needs
How can it be that you never told how it's gonna be?
Should've told ... x3

Should've told 'cause you saw I was

Holding on to our daylight till it's gone
Should've known
You were dying to move on
There's no more
To the story that we wrote
Like it never was, anyway

From then on I'm the pawn in endless game
Hazy thoughts
Slowly drivig me insane
When you crawled into me I crawl myself
Please you let us go into vain.

How could it be it is so very easy
Just in one snap lose your whole identity
Come back, come back, come back
And see
How empty I can be